There’s nothing as lovely as love, except maybe hilarious tweets from slightly annoyed spouses opening their hearts and homes for us to laugh at.
#1. Invisible cloak, activate.
#2. Chicken soup for stubborn husbands.
#3. Poor parents.
#4. Husband being the first born.
#5. Wife: What’s yours is mine, what’s mine is mine.
#6. Argument starter.
#7. Married sexting 101.
#8. Don’t you dare press that button.
#9. Bathroom doors will forever be unlocked.
#10. The silent treatment.
#11. There are always exemptions to the rule.
#12. Innocent face: ON.
#13. Sexy time? Oh wait, just snack time.
Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn’t wanna share.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2015
me: want me to make dinner
wife: nah it’s ok honey, I know you’re still tired from doing it back in 2003
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) August 24, 2016
#15. The dog is a part of this marriage.
wife: You forgot to turn the TV off last night
[flashback to me leaving it on so the dog could finish watching Air Bud]
me: No I didn’t
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) July 25, 2016
#16. Quick, guys, I need the brain!
Wife: It’s like every man on earth has to share one brain
Me: [can’t think of a good comeback because it’s not my turn to use the brain]
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) March 6, 2016
#17. It’s all about compromise.
My wife wanted two kittens but I am the man in this house so we got two kittens
— Justin Guarini (@JustinGuarini) January 17, 2015
#18. And then this just sums up modern love, really.
Marriage is basically just whispering, “Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video.”
— Mel Evans (@mel_evans) February 22, 2016